The following blog post takes place between the hours of 16:00 and 17:00 on the day of the California Presidential Primary:
So, it’s not all about sailing. Yes, surprising as it sounds, I do on the odd occasion talk to people who don’t frequently wear rubber. I’m not proud of the fact, but in the absence of any decent sail talk I decided to share what I’m doing tonight. Season seven (sorry, day seven) of 24 starts tonight on Sky, so I thought I’d write a blog post about it. However, rather than doing the usual blogging thing when it comes to 24 (“OMFG,24 starts TONIGHT! Jack you ROK!!”) I decided to go against the grain and discuss, against popular belief, how badly tonight is going to suck.
Ok, here’s a conversation taken directly (kinda) from a 24 teaser I saw a few days ago:
Jack Bauer: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest day of my life. Well, the seventh longest day of my life. Well, eighth if you count that thing in Africa. Well that wasn’t that long, but we bulked it out with adverts. I’m now rich by the way… Oh, yeah, one more thing, buy a VW Golf.
Ok, I may have used a bit of artistic license there, but that is ESSENTIALLY what is happening. Two back to back episodes filled to the brim with endless advert breaks, terrorists, clocks ticking down to the end of the hour, blatant product placement, and a nagging, annoying feeling that you’ve seen this all before, and yes, something will be happening at 07.59am, just like the last time.
With ten minutes to go everyone starts to relax, not realising that on all other days, something always happens at the end of the hour. Surely you’d get a little suspicious, right? How about when you’ve just got through 20 hours of hell (with terrosist incidents taking place on the dot every hour), you think everything is wrapped up, all warheads are accounted for, have uttered the killer line “Great job guys!” to the surviving members of CTU, and then BOOM! Another terrorist incident flairs up. You’ve got another 4 hours until the end of the day, that’s a total of 24 fve minute advert breaks to fill. SOMETHING’s going to happen. Jack, why the hell are you surprised? You’ve done this 6 times before… Something ALWAYS happens.
So, prepare for 2 hours (Well, 1 hour of watchable TV, 1 hour of adverts) of predictable, terrorist based “surprises”, annoying ticking clocks, and Jack shouting “God Dammit!” about 10 times. But on the bright side, by the end of the night we’ll all want to order a Dominoes Pizza, drive a Golf, buy the Ting Ting’s sodding new album (please don’t), shop at Argos, take out a loan and donate to Oxfam. Great…
I guess 24 has done one good thing for us. I firmly believe that in America 24 is a strong reason for Barack Obama’s election to be President. The superb casting of Dennis Haysbert for President Palmer led the way for the ultra cool Obama. Or at least I like to think so..